08/07/15
From a young
age, J has often complained about certain noises. For as long as I can remember
I’ve had to be careful about hand driers in public toilets – even someone else
using them can send him screaming off into a corner holding his ears and it can
take him some time to calm down again afterwards. He went through a phase of
hating the hairdryer and the hoover at home – now he will tolerate the hoover
as long as he has warning of me preparing to use it, and on the understanding I
don’t use it in the same room he’s in; with the hairdryer he is now happy to
let me use it on him, but again it’s only on his terms – if he wants me to use
it to dry his hair, and we have to count “1,2,3” before I switch it on and if
at any point during the process he asks me to turn it off I have to do so
quickly, or else he’ll freak out.
Other triggers
I’ve found is the noise of a busy main road – the cars etc rushing back and
forth is OK for a while, but quickly overwhelms him if it’s constant; the noise
of helicopters is fascinating for him for a short time, but again it will
quickly get too much. Sometimes, crowds of people is too much for him to cope
with – other times, he’ll happily deal with it. I’ve found a lot of it depends
on how tired he is, how much he’s already dealt with over the day, and also
what his focus is – when we’re in McDonalds for instance he’ll deal with the
noise of people talking, the beeping of the tils and the cooking equipment, the
noise of the speakers for the drive-thru and the music playing, because he is
focused intently on his Happy Meal, his toy, and his balloon – but if I take
him into a ‘normal’ restaurant with no distraction, for instance when we’re
seated and waiting for our meal to arrive, or in that aching long gap between
main course and dessert, then the noises of his surroundings become too much
and he’ll hide under the table covering his ears, or his go-to option tends to
be to run, and try to escape the situation.
Sometimes, I
find it’s not worth getting him worked up and upset and I will avoid the
situation to avoid him having a rough time. Other times, it’s an important
situation, such as a birthday meal or other special event, and we’ll go and
deal with it but it takes careful planning – I’m never without some Lego to
keep him amused, or a book we can read together, even a small packet of crayons
or pencils and a colouring book to pass the time. When sitting somewhere I’ll
try to sit us in a corner if its possible, and let him sit with his back to the
wall and in the corner seat – not only does this seem to help make him feel
more comfortable, but it slows down his progress if he does default to the ‘run’
setting, which can buy me valuable seconds to get up and catch up with him
myself if necessary.
One thing I
wasn’t aware of was how common this hyper sensitivity is amongst people on the
autistic spectrum. I found this article enlightening and realised that once
again J aligns with ‘typical’ characteristics of ASD.
A few weeks
ago, Grandad P asked J if he would like to attend Duxford air show with him,
and Daddy P. Initially J wasn’t too keen on the idea – it’s a totally new
concept to him, he’s never been to an air show before as I was aware that the
huge crowd and loud noises would be overwhelming to him – but he’s almost five
now, and Daddy P went to air shows a lot with his dad as a child, as I did with
my grandad, and it’s something we both associate with happy childhood memories,
something I don’t want to deny J of. So we spoke about it some more, Grandad P
showed J some models of aircraft that will be at the show and explained a bit
more about it, and J liked the sound of it so by the end of the afternoon he
was excited at the prospect of a day out with daddy and grandad.
My concern
remained the large crowd and the noise. After all, if it was billed as a fun
day out the last thing I wanted was J to become overwhelmed and either have a
meltdown about it or run off, both of which would be bound to put a dampener on
the day. I spoke with Daddy P about the idea of some ear defenders, and he
agreed that sounded like a very good plan.
I ordered
these from E Bay, and they arrived within a few days of placing the order. They’re
a bright, funky colour, they’re sturdy and appear to be designed with comfort
and practicality in mind. I was very pleased when they arrived.
So far J has
only tried them on in the house, and he said they made everything sound funny –
well I suppose they would, as they minimise sound so in an already quiet
environment it must be a bit disorientating having sound minimised even more. I’ve
explained to him though that he’ll take them with him when he goes to the air
show, and if he feels that the noise is getting a bit much, and he’s getting a
bit overwhelmed, he needs to tell daddy or grandad and they can help him put
his ear defenders on to help him have a bit of peace and quiet without having
to leave the situation completely, because I want him to see the aircraft in flight
and enjoy the show, to not miss out on the point of the air show because of the
noise that comes with it. The fact that the pilots will also be wearing ear
defenders is something I’m hoping will encourage him to put them on, as it won’t
seem out of place to be wearing them if he sees other people wearing them too.
The air show
is this weekend, so I’ll let you know next week how he gets on!
Peace &
Love
Mummy P
xxxx
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