Sunday, 18 June 2017

The Weekend of Ugh

What a horrible weekend.

It started on Friday, at school pick-up. Picklepot was being very silly, not listening, running off, acting up etc. I put it down to him being over-excited about it being the weekend, and we hustled home to get ourselves ready. We had a Beavers badge ceremony that evening, followed by a BBQ. We got to the ceremony and Picklepot was quiet and out of sorts. Halfway through he went to the loo and on his way back he asked if we could go home. I said we had to wait til the ceremony was over. Once it was over I said to him about getting BBQ food as was our plan but he wasn’t feeling it and he wanted to come home, so we did. We picked up McDonald’s on the way back as none of us had eaten dinner (thinking we would be getting BBQ food) but Picklepot only wanted his milkshake, and didn’t eat any of his meal. He went to bed and was awake a lot that night with a raging temperature, crying and screaming. Around 2.30am Sunshineface also started crying, so I ended up dozing in the chair with Sunshineface while Daddy P stayed with Picklepot in his double bed. None of us got much sleep.

On Saturday I woke with a sore throat and a banging headache so I headed to the shop for orange juice before Daddy P went to work. After he left, the boys and I had a quiet day. I cancelled our plans to go out with the ASD group because we weren’t up to it, and I managed to get some work done. I took Sunshineface up for a nap just after 12 and when I came downstairs just after 1 I found Picklepot asleep on the sofa. It’s a sure sign he’s unwell if he falls asleep in the day! I got some more work done and slept myself til 5, when Sunshineface woke up. Picklepot stayed asleep until 6pm.

It was a late shift for Daddy P so the boys and I had our dinner together at 6.30pm but none of us really ate a lot. It was the first thing Picklepot or myself had eaten all day. After we finished I cuddled up with both boys and we watched TV til Daddy P got home. We took the boys up to bed and once they were settled I crashed in bed myself. I was exhausted and I felt rubbish.

Overnight Picklepot slept through but Sunshineface was awake a lot. I think he was hungry though because when I gave him some more milk around 5am he finally settled. Daddy P was up and off to work again early this morning but the boys and I slept in til 9.30am.

I woke feeling even more rough than yesterday. I’m running a temperature, my throat is sore, my head is banging and my glands are swollen. I washed and sterilised the bottles and made them up; loaded and ran the dishwasher; loaded the washing machine and tumble drier / folded the stuff from the tumble drier and re-loaded it with another washload / I’ve done plenty of work today and everything is up to date. I put Sunshineface down for a nap just after 1pm and Picklepot and I had some toast as our lunch.  I’ve done some more work since then and reloaded the tumble drier / washing machine for another cycle.

It’s hot today (27 degrees) and the dogs are lounging in the kitchen not doing much on the whole, but then every now and then they’ll go outside and start barking and when they start they won’t stop and its bloody annoying so I have to keep going to tell them to shut up and come back indoors. I don’t want to shut the back door because it’s so hot in the kitchen with the door shut, particularly with the tumble drier running. It’s frustrating though when they’re running around barking at birds / bees / clouds / the noise of families talking and playing in other gardens.

Daddy P finishes work soon and when he gets home I’m going to enjoy a nice shower as I’m feeling all hot and disgusting. He said he’ll sort out dinner but truth be told I’m not sure what there is to cook / what any of us will eat anyway.

I feel frustrated, because it’s such a waste of the weekend – we’ve sat at home and watched TV and slept – and I feel annoyed because I’m sick as well as the kids, which sucks – and it’s a waste of such gorgeous weather – it’s so rarely hot and sunny in the UK I feel we should have been outside, enjoying it, not stuck indoors feeling sorry for ourselves. These things can’t be helped though. I just have to get over it don’t I and not dwell on it.

I’m not going to be able to give blood as planned on Tuesday because of this sickness – whatever it is – I’m not fit to give blood according to their guidelines, so I need to reschedule, but the app isn’t working properly so it won’t let me reschedule which is a pain. I’m also due in the office tomorrow but that’s not happening – not when I feel so rough. Also planned for this coming week is the yearly team bonding day with my office buddies; it’s planned for Thursday, so I’m hoping I’m well enough by then to participate and enjoy it! Then on Saturday we’re due to drive to Surrey for my nephews birthday party and an overnight stop at my mums house before travelling home on Sunday.

So many plans depend on me feeling better, and soon. I’m drinking orange juice and dosing myself up on paracetamol to take the edge off the pain. My skin feels prickly and my joints ache – it’s almost like flu, but less severe.

Fingers crossed we’re all better soon!

Saturday, 10 June 2017

Sunny Saturday Musings

It’s been a difficult week this week. Like everything has been ‘off’ ever so slightly and things just haven’t gone to plan, it’s nothing huge and life changing but its enough to put you out of sorts. Sunshineface hasn’t had much sleep since about last weekend. He’s been doing LOTS of crying, wanting lots of cuddles, being that sort of toddler that cries for being put down, cries to be picked up again, cries because you give him a drink, cries because you don’t. It’s like even he isn’t sure what will make him feel better. His temperature has been a little raised, but he’s been drinking plenty and having wet nappies, and he’s been alert and responsive so there’s not much to do apart from ride it out. It’s just tiring, having a toddler attached to you 24/7 while you’re trying to get things done, as any parent will tell you. I put him down to go to the toilet the other day and he screamed like I was murdering him. I was desperate for a wee. So I held him on my lap, on the toilet, while I had a wee. That’s normal, right now. That’s my life. Sleeping in a rocking chair in the nursery for more hours each night than you are in your own bed, because every time you think he’s settled and you creep back to bed, he wakes up screaming again. Wondering if it’s acceptable to take him out wearing just a vest because he is so hot or if people will photograph you and post it to Mums Net with an outraged rant about what an awful parent you are. Trying to function enough to do a hundred different things that need doing and ending up not doing any one thing til it’s finished. I have a half loaded dishwasher, a half unloaded tumble drier and a half drunk mug of cold coffee to show you that. Then suddenly yesterday he slept for a massive amount of time during the day – five hours! – ate a huge dinner and went to bed – a little bit later than normal, but not much – and slept til midnight. I couldn’t believe it. He then settled quickly, and slept round til 7.15 this morning.

He would have slept longer, but I had to wake him up as I had to get him in the car and take him with me to drop off Picklepot. He had to meet the Beavers at the local Tesco at 7:40am to go by coach to a fantastic day out that sounds right up his street. The information on this adventure place they’ve gone to says 100 activities available including archery, rock climbing and go karting. Picklepot didn’t wait to be asked twice when he was asked if he wanted to go. Fortunately for me the meeting time was delayed last minute from 6.15am meeting. That would have been painful. I had no choice but to take Sunshineface with us as Daddy P was working at 7am but I guess maybe with a 6.15 meeting time we could have risked leaving Sunshineface here with Daddy and me being home on time. It didn’t work out though of course. So after sleeping the best he has for the first night in over a week I have to wake up Sunshineface, change his nappy and stick him in the carseat without further ado. He wasn’t impressed, even after I let him have a Belvita breakfast biscuit.

Check out the look on his face! He's just like his Mama in the morning! Such a grump!

All week, because of Sunshineface being the way he has been, it’s been difficult to get the housework done, or my work; then yesterday Picklepot was off school sick (something he ate) But thanks to the epic nap yesterday on behalf of Sunshineface, I was able to catch up with work and then some. Picklepot felt well enough to play Minecraft; I said well you need to do your homework before you play Minecraft. He said but I’m sick. I said if you’re well enough to play Minecraft you’re well enough to do your homework. So now we have a homework free weekend because he did it within about five minutes yesterday morning because he was so desperate to play Minecraft 😉

After dropping Picklepot off this morning with a tightly packed backpack of items (a long list of stuff he needs, all to be crammed into a small size back pack the child can carry themselves – it was like tetris trying to fit everything in!) Sunshineface and I came home and I did some work and then we watched some TV and I drank coffee and at 10am he wanted to go upstairs for nappy change. We went up, I changed his nappy, and he snuggled down in my arms to go to sleep. I napped with him for an hour, then when I woke up I put him in the cot and he woke up again. I left him to it and he hasn’t made a sound since. To give you perspective on that, right now it’s 2.03pm. He’s been asleep since around 10.30am. My next door neighbours (the new people, not the nice couple on the other side) have been screaming at one another, crashing up and downstairs, (literally sounds like they’re moving furniture and having an argument while they do it), slamming the front door, slamming the car doors, more crashing around – how many times do you need to open and slam shut the front door? Can you actually close it like a normal person instead of slamming it so hard the front of my house shakes? Somehow Sunshineface has slept though all of that!

We’ve still received no update from the services contacted with regards to assessment for ADHD for Picklepot, which is now overdue from December from what I was originally told by the paediatrician that discharged Picklepot from care without telling me.

We’ve still received no update from the Autism Anglia service contacted with regards to my plea for help as I am helplessly watching Picklepot struggle more and more, and when they asked me for forms on 12th May I had them filled in and returned by 17th May and have not heard anything further yet I made it quite clear we need assistance.

I’m trying to be a bit more involved with the local Helping Hands ASD group. We’ve got a Facebook page now just for our meetings, so rather than clog up the official feed of the Helping Hands team which covers a wide area and more than just our Saturday group, we’re throwing ideas around together with things we can do and organising events for the families. It’s easy to sit back and wait for someone else to organise stuff but this is the sort of group where we need to make things happen for ourselves, and it’s nice getting to know some other mums with similar aged kids.  

Right now I’m going to take advantage of having this rare time to myself and I’m going to make – and drink – a whole cup of hot coffee and maybe watch an episode of Revenge while I have the chance! We got Now TV last weekend … I’m quite enjoying it so far!