The summer holidays have begun.
Picklepot broke up from school on Friday last week. On Saturday my parents and brother came to our house for the day; Sunday and Monday we didn’t do much; Tuesday we went into town with his best friend and her mum to sign up for the summer holiday reading challenge; Wednesday we were meant to go to a friends house, but then it was cancelled last minute so we had a lazy day at home instead, and he went to Beavers last night.
I’d received an email from Lioness on Monday to say that the Beavers would be having a water fight after completing their Emergency First Aid work during the meeting on Wednesday, and a request to bring a towel and a dry t shirt. We arrived at Beavers and waited outside for the doors to open. Other Beavers had brought along water guns, but they hadn’t been asked for in the email. Picklepot walked up to me with a frown.
“You didn’t bring me a water gun”
I said “No, it wasn’t requested that we brought a water gun in the email”. Another mum, who happens to be staff at Picklepot’s school, said to me, “I did message Lioness to check, and she said we didn’t need to bring anything except the towel and dry t shirt”
Picklepot folded his arms and glared at me. “Why didn’t you bring me a water gun? Other people have got a water gun.”
I repeated, “No, it wasn’t requested that we brought a water gun in the email”.
He growled at me and ran off.
On our way into the hall, another mum was leaving. “Oh the water fight has been cancelled,” She said to me, “On account of the weather being rubbish today. They’re doing it next week instead.” Picklepot overheard and threw his bag and jumper on the floor, standing in the hallway with his arms crossed and a grumpy face on.
“Why has it been cancelled?”
I sighed. “You heard what she said. The weather is rubbish today. It’s too cold and it’s raining. It won’t be a good water fight if you’re all too cold. They’ll do it when the weather is nicer.”
“Next week. She said they’re doing the water fight next week.” He grumbled.
“Well if the weather is better next week then yes, they will.” I replied. I knew what was coming. We’re on holiday next week so he isn’t at Beavers, so he will miss out on the water fight if they do it next week.
Sure enough, he kicked his bag across the floor. “Well that’s not fair! It’s meant to be tonight. I won’t be here next week so I won’t get to join in and that’s not fair!”
I asked him to calm down, not to kick his bag, and to pick up his things and go into the hall. He growled at me again, picked up his belongings, went into the hall and put the bag down by Lioness and Tiger. He took his jumper and went to join the other Beavers who were already forming up. As I stood there, I watched him throw his jumper at another kid. It hit the other kid full in the face.
“Get here NOW!” I yelled. Picklepot skipped over to me grinning.
“Why did you throw your jumper at his face?” I asked. He shrugged.
“I didn’t.” He replied.
I fought the urge to scream in frustration. “You did. I stood here and I watched you. Why did you throw your jumper at his face? You could have hurt him!”
Again he shrugged. “I didn’t.”
“I watched you do it!”
“I didn’t do it deliberately.”
“Your jumper just flew out of your hands and hit him in the face?!”
“I was trying to throw it over his head.”
I sighed. I took hold of his jumper and threw it in his face. He burst into tears. “Was that a nice thing for me to do?” I asked. He cried hard.
“Well then, that’s what I’m saying to you. Whether or not you intended for it to hit him in the face, you did throw it and it did hit him in the face and that’s not nice. So go and say sorry.”
“I didn’t do it on purpose!”
“Regardless! You did hit him with it so you need to apologise, whether or not it was done on purpose!”
The big fake sobbing continued. He makes lots of noise when he does this. It’s a very quick way of getting me mad very quickly because I know it’s fake but he’s very convincing with big tears rolling down his face and everything. Other people that don’t know him so well often think he’s properly crying and obviously they presume I'm being horrible to him.
After he eventually went off to say sorry to the other kid, he started running round in circles. He’s meant to put his jumper on and form up, not chuck his jumper around and run in circles. I asked him to put his jumper on. He removed his woggle from his neckerchief and chucked the woggle and the neckerchief onto the floor. He put his jumper on and kicked his neckerchief around the floor.
“I can’t put that on.” He said.
“I can’t put that on.” He said.
I waited silently. Another thing I am sick to death of is him making statements like “I can’t do that” instead of “Please can you help me do that”. So I don’t respond if he says he can’t do something, I wait til he asks for help.
He picked up the neckerchief, screwed it up some more, threw it on the floor and kicked it again and yelled in my face. “I said, I can’t do that!”
I looked at him. “So what do you need to do?”
“I need to put my neckerchief on!” He screamed at me.
“So what do you need to do?” I asked, meaning he needs to ask me for help not just scream at me that he can’t do it.
“I told you! I need to put my neckerchief on!” He screamed.
“You need to ask for help nicely, not scream at me that you can’t do it.” I told him. “Now it’s all crumpled up and on the floor, so first of all you need to sort it out and get it ready to put on.”
He kicked at it again, then picked it up and threw it onto the table in front of Lioness and Tiger. He went to walk away. I called him back. “You need to sort it out and get it ready to put on. I’m not doing it all for you after you’re the one who crumpled it all up.”
He glared at me and growled again. “Humph” He said, crossing his arms.
I swear this child is trying to push me over the edge at times. Another leader took the neckerchief and picked up the woggle from the floor. She turned to me. “Bye mum!” She said loudly. Then she turned to Picklepot. “You show me how you can sort this out, OK? Then you need to put it on and form up – quickly now, everyone else is ready!”
I turned to Lioness and Tiger. “He broke up from school on Friday. It’s been emotional.”
Tiger smiled. “It’s the change of routine. It’s OK. He’ll be fine. Go and enjoy your time.”
I left feeling thoroughly annoyed, upset and angry. He had been fine all day, then turned into a monster specially for the Beavers crowd. He’d made me so cross with his behaviour, which he knows I won’t tolerate, yet he does it in front of people as if he expects it to be OK.
When I went back to pick him up, the lady who had been doing the Emergency First Aid skills with the group came over to chat with me. “He did brilliantly again,” She smiled. “He was my helper again, and he remembered everything I taught them last week.” (He was her helper last week, too) “He knew all of the answers to all the questions I asked them, and he demonstrated very good bandaging abilities. He demonstrated what I’d taught them last week and got it all perfect. He’s very good at it. Has he ever done a first aid course before?” I said no he hadn’t, but that it was something he was interested in. “Maybe when he’s a bit older he can come and join our team as a cadet,” She suggested. “He might enjoy that. Getting out and about and going to events with a purpose to being there.” Then Tiger came over to me. “He’s been fine,” She reassured me. “He loved doing the first aid stuff again, he remembered everything from last week really well and took it all in tonight. He’s done brilliantly.” I smiled. “I just wish he didn’t work so hard at making me so cross!” I said to her. “Ah, but you’re mum,” She said, “He knows he can push you constantly and regardless of what he says or does you’ll always love him. That’s why you get the bad behaviour. Anyone else can walk away and not come back. You’ll always come back.” When the group was dismissed, Picklepot came over to me and apologised for his earlier behaviour. I breathed a sigh of relief.
We spoke with Lioness and Tiger about being on holiday for the next couple of weeks, so he would be missing two meetings, and celebrating his birthday while he was away. He got upset because he’d be missing the water fight, but I said we would take our water guns on holiday with us and have a water fight while we were away. That seemed to help him cheer up again.
I can’t wait for our holiday. I need a break … I think the change of scenery and having different activities to do will help keep Picklepot more chilled – and we’ll have lots of time to spend together.
Three more sleeps!